It's kind of an odd week for me.
It was five years ago this week that I lost both my dad and my brother, leaving me the last surviving member of my immediate family.
Dad was in his 80's, my brother in his 50's.
It's weird how you can accept that your parents will die before you, but that the death of a sibling can be a complete shock. I suppose that it may have something to do with the fact that as we grow up, we come to grips that we will outlive out parents. It is the natural order of things.
While I often miss my dad, thinking of things I want to ask him, or to ask his advice; but the death of my brother hit me the hardest. It may be that he was my big brother, and always there for me; it may be that he was a major influence on me (as big brothers are) and what I got interested in. And it may be that he is gone too soon - he should have had many years ahead of him.
I suppose it wouldn't have been such a blow if they hadn't died within a week of each other. Or if I wasn't as close to them as I was. Or if I didn't have a good relationship with them, not perfect, but a good one.
I still have lots of great memories of both of them, and that will have to do.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment